How do I pass in public as a woman might be one of the questions jumping around in a beginning crossdresser’s mind. How do I get there as a male crossdresser and pass as a female?
What is passing? It’s a vague and confusing term to describe the ability when a male cross-dresser, through makeup and other tricks of the cross-dressing trade, can go out to public places and has no one able to tell if he’s a female wrapped up in his gender expression.
First, let me say everyone’s different—female and male. The image we are bombarded with of what a female is supposed to look like isn’t.
So, trying to pass the image the media rams down our throats—male and female—might be hard to achieve. But with a few tips, maybe more tricks, you can go out into the masses, mingle, and enjoy your femme persona. The most crucial point, I believe, is not to call attention to yourself. If you wish to wear revealing and sexually provocative clothing, your passing game needs to be on point as opposed to if you dress down more conservatively.
Because everyone’s different, the key to passing isn’t a one-size-fits-all. Some males are more feminine than others; lucky boys they are.
If you just enjoy dressing up at home, enjoying the silky touch of feminine attire on your skin without enduring the public’s scrutiny, that’s fine. Enjoy! Guilt-free!
However, if your goal is to one day go out and about and mingle with the masses, here are the top ten things you should focus on to get your passing game on.
Remove that hair!
Nothing says a guy-like hair. That irksome stuff growing on your skin has to go. The face, get rid of the beards and mustaches and shave close and tight. The hair on those legs—it’s a dead giveaway. Keep your body smooth, and use a moisturizer afterward to help create soft, silky skin. Those hairy knuckles and hands—they’ve got to go. Hairy arms—they all need some work. Don’t forget about the bushy brows. Get them trimmed. Do it slowly to avoid raising too many alarms with friends and family.
Many hair reduction creams reduce hair growth and are especially effective if used regularly. Electrolysis can be a more expensive yet long-term solution. It all depends on your intent. How much money are you willing to spend?
Check out The Crossdressing Life’s Guide On Beards.
Makeup! Learn how to do it and what to use!
No matter the reason you choose to crossdress, whether it be a way to express another gender, your female side that’s been clawing to get out, or you have some kinky sexual desires needing to be expressed, a sissy, or crossdressing relaxes you and reduces anxiety. Then, learning makeup is vital.
Learning to do makeup as a crossdresser adds a pop of femininity and extra flare. So, invest in makeup and practice till you can look in the mirror and say, wow. Damn, I look hot. I remember that day. Take pictures each time you practice, learn from your mistakes, and try different looks, products, colors, shades, and techniques until you get the look you want.
Unfortunately, you’re going to hear the Ka-ching of the register. What’s more important than looking feminine?
Luckily, there are tons of videos and articles on doing it right. So, the old saying practice makes perfect applies here.
That voice! Do some work.
Here, like makeup, practice makes perfect. One of the best ways to become more feminine is to practice speaking more femininely. I used an app that gives you prompts and real-time analysis of how feminine your voice is, helping you train your voice. You adjust the tone and move on. I got pretty good at it after a while.
Get that female shape.
This could be using butt pads, hip pads, breast forms, or simply wearing clothes that fit and are flattering to your particular body shape. Corsets can help, too. Accessorize! Earrings, necklaces, and bracelets make you look more feminine. Be sure to match them to your outfit.
Posture, body language, and behavior.
I think this is just as important as anything. What could be more revealing of a guy if you nail the look? You got it down: makeup, clothes, accessories, and you sit down at the bar and spread your legs! Or you walk into that bar, swinging your arms like a gorilla. Watch how females walk and learn feminine body language. Use smaller gestures, speak delicately, and learn to strut your stuff the female way.
For example, women often hold their arms close to their sides instead of spreading them wide, a typical male pose. This helps to make the shoulders look broader and narrows the waist.
Another important tip is to show gratitude. If you nail it and someone holds the door for you, thank them with a feminine voice.
Master a feminine walk.
Kind of a continuation of the above cross-dressing tip. Master the walk. Again, practice makes work apply here. Wow! That’s a lot of work, Phoebe! Yep, it isn’t easy. But walk like a man, and it’s a dead giveaway. Some easy things to achieve are: think gracefully, swivel your hips, and narrow your stride. I’ll do an entire post on this soon. There are tons of videos, and you can just watch women in public.
Wig or style your hair
If you have long, feminine hair, style it and strut your stuff, and lucky you. If not, opt for a good-quality wig. Check out The Crossdressing Life’s guide to wigs.
Confidence is Key
Suppose you’ve done all of the above. Even if you haven’t, go out and be confident. Act as if you belong. Because you do! Two things: most people are so caught up in their world that if you act like you belong, you’ll do fine, and second, you do belong. Who gives a fuck what people think! You have a right to express your gender in any way you want.
Confidence, whether in male or female form, is an attractive quality. S This doesn’t mean a false display of confidence. Don’t be boastful or arrogant. Instead, it’s an inner confidence that you are who you are, and at the moment, you’re expressing your feminine side.
Learning these simple skills, being confident in your makeup skills, voice, posture, knowing that your wig or hair is styled and looking good, and your overall style and grace will help boost this inner confidence. Ultimately, it’s about enjoying and embracing every aspect of your female persona.
Those Hands
This is a challenging one. Men’s hands are larger and have a more “masculine” appearance. Don’t fret, there are answers. So, if you don’t have those long, delicate fingers, don’t despair. Try fake nails. Long counterfeit nails help to fake a feminine appearance. They come in many varieties. But be careful and get the extra wide ones. Most guy fingers tend to be more comprehensive.
Or try a pair of gloves. A sexy pair of lace gloves or long sleeves can help, or you can do plenty of things to draw attention away from your hands. No matter what you choose, maintain nail hygiene daily, even if your nails are short; keeping them clean and well-groomed can greatly improve their appearance. Don’t forget to moisturize. Clear nail polish can help, too, even on days you are not expressing your femme form.
Dress appropriately according to body type, age, and where you’re going.
Look at your age. Consider how old you appear and how women your age usually dress. If you are a 50-year-old man who enjoys wearing revealing clothing like mini-skirts and low-cut tops, chances are you won’t blend in well while shopping at the mall. That might work in a low-light nightclub but don’t stand out in public unless you want to.
There’s nothing wrong with dressing “young” for fun, but if you want to be authentic, be mindful of potential limitations. Find your style by experimenting with different colors and fabrics, browsing fashion magazines for age-appropriate and fashionable looks, and finding garments that make you look more feminine.
For example, if you have a bit of a belly, consider an “empire waist” dress that lifts the waistline above the thicker part to accentuate your waist while flaring out to hide the belly and create the illusion of hips. Wide shoulders? Look for deep v-neck tops or dresses to draw attention to your cleavage and away from your shoulders. Remember to keep it simple and appropriate for your age; you can’t go wrong.
Don’t Forget to Tuck
Okay, do I need to say this? Nothing’s going to make you out as a guy as having a little bulge show up under that tight skirt. Tuck! Tuck it tight and right.
Check out The Crossdressing Life’s Guide to Gaffs.
You got! Now enjoy your femme persona and express your gender identity the way you want!